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Breaking Free from Shame: How to Create the Life You Truly Want


Are you all too familiar with the feeling of bullying yourself into life changes?

  • It’s never enough…

  • It’s getting worse…

  • It’s so hard…

  • Why does this keep happening?

  • What is it going to take?

The struggle is real—but what if it’s also unnecessary?


What If It Didn’t Have to Be Hard?

We’ve been conditioned to believe that transformation requires struggle. That if we don’t fight, suffer, or hustle for it, then it won’t be worth it. But what if that’s just a story we’ve adopted—and not the truth?

What if success and fulfillment didn’t have to be born from pain? What if ease, flow, and grace were the way instead?

Jesus said, “Be it unto you according to your faith” (Matthew 9:29).

This is a sobering reality check:

  • What am I placing my faith in?

  • Am I expecting good or bad outcomes?

  • Am I believing for flourishing or failure?

Subtle, but profound.


Shame Is Not the Path to Lasting Change

Here’s what I know to be true:

Shame never leads to lasting transformation.

Shame leads to cycles of self-sabotage, negativity, burnout, and exhaustion. It tricks us into believing we are fundamentally flawed, so we live in a state of never enough.


Carl Rogers, in his book On Becoming a Person, put it this way:“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”


As a former athlete, I’ve seen how shame-based coaching works—for a while. You can make yourself feel so bad that you temporarily behave differently. But it never lasts.

That’s why I don’t coach, teach, or guide people through shame. True healing happens when we transform our beliefs, renew our minds, and restore our relationship with God, self, and others.


When we operate from shame, we reinforce a cycle of unworthiness.

Unworthiness is self-sabotage 101.

And we all have our own unique cocktail of it.


The Power of Self-Acceptance

The most effective and loving way to create change is through honesty and self-acceptance.

You are already worthy. You are already enough.

There is nothing you must do to prove that.

When you accept this, you stop striving. You stop feeling guilty about who you are, who you have been, or who you should be. You finally free yourself to step into the fullness of who God created you to be.

Now that you are in charge of your life, one truth remains:

The best is yet to come.


Getting Clear on What You Want

It’s time to drop the doubt and get intentional.

Ask yourself:

  • What do I truly want?

  • What desires has God placed in my heart? (They aren’t there to tease or taunt you.)

  • If nothing I wanted was bad or wrong, what would I allow myself to desire?

  • If I knew no one would be mad at me for my choices, what would I pursue?

  • If I trusted God fully and knew He would support me, what would I boldly step into?


Identifying the Lies Holding You Back

Your next breakthrough lies in identifying and challenging the beliefs that say you can’t have what you desire.

  • Write down every limiting belief that tells you it’s impossible.

  • Challenge each one with truth.

  • This is where your faith and mind renewal work begins.


Defining Your Abundant Life

What does living in abundance mean for you?

  • How would you show up if you were already living this life?

  • What would you think?

  • How would you feel?

Write it down. Meditate on it. Keep affirming it until you believe it’s possible for you.


You Are Responsible for Your Reality

  • You are responsible for what you think.

  • You are responsible for what you believe.

  • You are responsible for shifting your perspective.

No one else can do this for you—no matter how much they love and care about you.


What Do You Want to Create?

The life you desire is already waiting for you to step into it.

You don’t have to struggle for it. You don’t have to earn it. You simply have to believe it’s possible, trust God, and align your thoughts and actions with that reality.


So, what do you want to create?



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