
If you’ve grown used to settling for breadcrumbs, let this be a reminder to your inner child:
Your birthright is to be fully loved.Anyone who convinced you otherwise simply didn’t have the capacity to show up for the fullness of who you are.
Repeat after me:"What they offered me is not representative of how much I deserve."
YOU DON’T HAVE TO SETTLE FOR BREADCRUMBS OF LOVE WHEN YOU DESERVE THE WHOLE LOAF.
Just because someone in your past couldn’t meet your needs or even recognize them doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to have those needs fulfilled.
Understanding the Pain of Neglect
Neglect is often called “the emotional desert” or “the trauma of absence.” It’s harder to pinpoint because there’s no specific event to reference. In the absence of clarity, we fill in the blanks—blaming ourselves for the lack of love and connection.
We create stories to make sense of the pain, such as:
“If I ask for what I need, they will leave me.”
“I take up too much space.”
“I will be accepted if I stay quiet.”
But the truth is:Someone else’s inability to meet your needs is a reflection of their capacity, their own upbringing, or the environment that shaped them. It’s not a reflection of your worth.
You Don’t Have to Invalidate Your Needs
You don’t have to abandon yourself to:
Avoid conflict
Be nice
Please others
Prevent someone from leaving
Fit in
Be chosen
Feel loved
Every time you chase love, you’re leaving yourself behind.
When you overperform, overextend, or reach for the unavailable, you rupture your own safety and boundaries. You lose your sense of self in the process, hoping to finally be seen. But even if they could turn around and offer you love, the authentic you wouldn’t be there to receive it.
Honor Your Journey
If this resonates with you, honor the survival patterns you’ve learned. There’s no shame in how you’ve coped.
Take time to:
Embody your boundaries.
Reclaim the container of you.
Notice when you’re breaching your own boundaries in pursuit of someone else.
When you feel the pull to chase or hyperfocus on someone, stop and pull yourself back. Ask yourself: What do I need right now? What do I deserve?
To be met fully, you must first be at home in yourself. Only then can you answer the door when love arrives.
Courage to Heal
In the Courage Co. Community, many have shared that the most courageous thing they’ve done is leave a narcissistic relationship or muster the courage to do so.
If you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse—especially the covert kind—it can feel confusing and isolating.
You are not alone. I see you, and I understand the pain.
Your Journey Toward Wholeness
This season of your life, as painful as it may feel, can become the catalyst for your deepest healing and greatest awakening.
You are magnificent.Anything you’ve been told to the contrary is not a reflection of your truth but a projection of someone else’s inability to see you—or themselves—clearly.
You are worthy. You are enough. You are loved.
I’m so glad you’re here. 💛
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